We all want to succeed in relationships. We want to be good friends, spouses, parents, co-workers, mentors… the list goes on. Becoming more self-aware is a key way to be better in relationships. In this session, we’ll explore our own characters, feelings, motives, and desires. We will strive to better understand ourselves and we might just discover a growing influence with those around us.
'Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.'
Psalms 139:23-24 (NLT)
Jeff stated that two of the most common limiters and killers of careers are: the inability to understand our own emotional and relational climates. How have you seen this play out at work?
Do you have a relationship in need of a climate change? If so, how does that person’s climate influence your behavior and your climate?
In the message, Jeff cautioned, "Be aware of your emotions. Don’t become your emotions." In Genesis 4, Cain was angry that his offering was unacceptable to God, and he allowed his anger to dictate his actions. Share a time when your emotions influenced your actions and it had a negative result.
This week’s homework requires courage, humility, and vulnerability. Which of these will be the most difficult for you?
Spend a few minutes identifying three people you will connect with and ask “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?” Share your list with your group. If you’re comfortable, identify which of the three seems the most daunting.
When it comes to conflict, do you tend to enjoy it or avoid it?
What conflict are you in the middle of enjoying or avoiding?
How is conflict managed in your workplace? How does it impact the climate of the office?
Solomon tells us that if we focus on loyalty and kindness, we will find favor with both God and people. Below are ideas of ways to incorporate loyalty and kindness in conflict. Mark the statements that resonate with you and discuss with the group.
_____ Providing feedback because I want the best for someone.
_____ Not minimizing or ignoring my feelings in an effort to maintain harmony.
_____ Providing uninvited caution or counsel with a pure motive.
_____ Being proactive in addressing concerns rather than waiting for the other person to initiate.
_____ Choosing to trust as opposed to being suspicious.
_____ Prioritizing the other person’s feelings over your own.
_____ Listening first before jumping in with my own opinion.
_____ Validating the other person’s feelings and showing empathy.
_____ Considering the possible external factors for why the person thinks/feels like she does.
_____ Considering my body language and attitude while I address conflict.
_____ Being approachable.
In the message, Jeff describes the Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE). Put simply, the FAE is when two people wrongly assume each other’s motive. What are some ways you can avoid the FAE as it relates to the conflict you noted in question two?